Similiar To Bella Swan..

Bella SwanTwo things that people have always said and/or mentioned toward me….things pertaining to my race or personality.

Friends/Strangers:“Are you really black??”…”The white girl is blacker than you!”..And most recently..”Your boyfriend must not be black.”

Family members:“She’s anti-social.” Or “She’s always quiet.”

Now surprisingly a lot of this stuff does not come from strangers, some of them have come from friends a lot have come from family members. I choose not to communicate with a lot of my family members because I do not trust them. No one can hold water and I want to be as far away from the drama as I can.

As for friends…outside the internet I have no made a friend since I graduated high school…why? I don’t know I guess its hard for me…its not easy to really find someone that understands me AND cares enough to hang around. If they do then they already have a life they are engaged…it’s fine with me though a lot of times I prefer to be alone…except for at night. I hate sleeping alone.

So back to the title…the reason why I mentioned all of this is because  a while ago my dad said to me, “You remind me of Bella from Twilight.” At first I took that as insult but brushed it aside but then I started watching the movies and finding out more about her (minus reading the book)….I find out that I am a hell of  a lot like her lol.

Things in common:

Socially awkward to people who want to know me unless they keep throwing themselves at me or I warm up to them. Willing to accept someone. I rather have invested my feelings and deep inner emotions within a relationship rather than vent to friends or family. My partner is the closest person to me and the person I love the most. Have a mom a that over reacts to things and wants to know everything and loves me. Have/had friends that wanted to be around me but I gradually pushed them away for relationship. Graduated. Smart. I have gone completely “crazy” when my boyfriend left me. Will choose love over lust…theres so much more I cn’t think of it right now but you get the drift.

Differences:

I don’t have  a boyfriend/husband.I don’t have a father that tries to understand me. I don’t have a bunch of people willing to accept me even though my decisions are rash and I don’t have two guys chasing after me at once. Never been bitten.

So from this…I am a huge Twilight fan, I think its awesome and yes I am the type of black girl with a body that you would usually see in the DAYUMM BIG BOOTY magazines…but I don’t have the snooty, whorish personality to match it. I am a Virgo though…lady in the street, freak in the bed 🙂

-Jazzie

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