Today..

The first words I read today that actually brought me to reality and whisper to myself,”Oh Shit” are STATISTICS IS THE HARDEST MATH COURSE YOU WILL EVER TAKE. I’m taking a Statistics and American History course to finish off my degree. I explained the process of how graduation works in one of my posts I wrote last week.

As my professor began to lecture us  on the first dayof class about this being college and being responsible for attendance. I was 10 ot 15 minutes late, I had the wrong class number so I had to go all the way to the library log into my account to print out the class info and then find the class. I began saying to myself damn I signed up for this course during the Summer not knowing what I was getting into AND I’m not good at math. But now that I am outside of the class I have definitely did some talking to myself. “Inhale & Exhale, Jazzie everything is going to be fine, dont be intimidated we always make it through even when we fail”, and its true. Even though it hurts I always make it through.

So my plan is to really study and put some effort into this course unlike I have been doing for my whole college term. So that means doing what I have to do first THEN doing what I want to do. I can not slack. I really want to do good for myself. Its never too late for change and this is only the start. So my message for today….don’t give up on yourself or your dreams if you keep striving for them you will eventually get what you need out of it.

-Jazzie

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Journey to Becoming a Social Worker: College Life & Grades!

Sooo this year I am suppose to be graduating “early” June 1st. I have two courses during the Summer I have to take then I’m Natural Hair is Beautiful (50)completely done! Thank God! Since there is only one graduation ceremony per year, my college allows you to graduate early as long as you have two or one courses left to complete and they are already paid for prior to registering for graduation. I’m not sure if any other colleges practice that or not but I just found that out thanks to my new EOP counselor. I had my old EOP counselor for two years and up until 2 months ago I reluctantly switched due to traveling reasons. I am 100% thankful I did because she had been misleading me and if I would have stayed under her I would be in the gutter right now. God works his miracles, right?

The courses I am taking this semester are my human services ( 2 classes), biology and math. I already found out I got an A in both my Human Services classes. I am very thankful for  that, hopefully it will raise my GPA. As for my Biology class if I Ace my Exam I will pass with a D. My Math class, if I do well in the exam I may pass with a D or C. Either way passing is passing lol.  I just need to study instead of blogging right now. I usually do well when it comes to Summer courses so hopefully I get an A or B, nothing less.

After that I really want to open my jewelry store back up online and search for a job. Hopefully get a job. Wherever God leads me.

-Jazzie

Graduation, Exams, College, Money…Life but its all LOVE.

In 2 weeks have graduation coming up, two exams this week, then my summer courses start 2 days before my actual Glitter Graduation Cap from Pinterestgraduation. Can you say stressed?

Im worried about my Biology course. I’m taking it online and I am not sure how well of a good job I will do on the exam but Im gonna try my damn hardest. Then I have my math exam. I’m VERY worried about that because I tend to forget EVERYTHING once a paper is in front of me and I literally only have 4 days to study for it.

Not only that but I just started my process using Cashcrate to make some money on the side. I have a dilemma with Paypal and I don’t want to come out of pocket so I’m going to be using the money that I make from Cashcrate to pay off what I owe. The plan was to earn a minimum of $4 a day but I don’t really have time for that so if I skip out on that for a week I will be shorting myself $28 is it worth it? Hm.

packs of hair After this week passes I am hoping things calm down a little. For my graduation I have some for myself. For my hair I will be doing senegalese twist. I was going to where my Evony wig from Outre but I put it on and I just wasn’t feeling it. So I bought 11 packs of different colored hair (pick on the side). I never buy the same colored hair its always mixed, I love it wild and I never expect how it will come out. I just know that it will work. For inspiration I started looking through photos in my computer and I saw this photo where it had a girl with box braids next to a girl with senegalese twist. At that moment I decided I wanted senegalese twist and just to make sure I could do it properly and neat I did a little strand test. It came out perfectly. So senegalese twist it is! I will also be taking a dip in the hot water and making them curly senegalese twist (Inspired by this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saOK8lJZ72c & this video too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SP7DwG1cPc)! I haaaave to. It can’t be ordinary UNLESS the straight hair matches the earrings that I made versus curly hair.senegalese box braids

Man I have so many plans for my graduation its crazy! I really want to make myself some hand jewelry. I think I will if I find the time to. It wont be exactly like this photo but it will be similar and I’ll be taking pics of EVERYTHING.  Another thing I want to do is bedazzle my graduation cap. I just came from my aunt’s graduation and I saw this girl with a bedazzled glitter graduation cap and it was literally the only interesting thing at the graduation and it stood out. I did my little googling and found a lot of tutorials and diys on pinterest. I’m going to stop by Michaels this Friday, grab some stuff and practice on my High School graduation cap. If it comes out good on that then I will do it on my actual cap. I’ll take pics ofc.

handstuffI also want to go to an eye appointment, get my eyes examined then get a new pair of glasses. I want to get my teeth cleaned so I have nice white teeth on my graduation day :D. I’m not sure if I want to get my nails done I might just settle for painting them myself or letting my sis paint them then maybe adding some diamonds or something. I really want to buy a new dress but I always order my stuff from online and it would feel weird trying to get something from an store so I think I may settle for what I already have, I’m not sure yet I’m going to have to ask for my mom’s or sis’s opinion on that one. Shoes, I’m ust going to wear sandals, nothing too complicated. I already have my jewelry made: Necklace and Earrings. I have plenty of rings that could easily match. I think, if I have time, I’m going to make my mom and my sister some matching earrings to wear with me. I think that’ll be awesome…maybe even my grandma and cousins, it depends on how I’m feeling toward them or how I’m feeling at the moment. But I think it would be a great idea to see a family all wearing matching earrings. I know my grandma is going to ofc want a necklace to go with it, she always does.

I just really want it to be a good day. I don’t want to feel hostile toward everyone and whoever comes, comes lol. It’ll be the one day in the year where nothing can upset me except if my ex showed up lmao which would never happen. So thats whats going on in my life right now and like I said in the title, its all love.

-Jazzie

Journey to Becoming A Social Worker: I Don’t Like My Job Anymore (Nursing Home)

black-woman-stressedI work at a nursing home that refuses to admit that its an actual nursing home. They’re delicate to calling the people that reside there: “Old people”, “patients” or “the elderly”. Instead they refer to them as “residents”. They even have a catholic church in the home so the residents don’t have to leave and they can go anytime they want. I really enjoyed the fact that they seemingly take good care of their residents and respect them.

I’m a college student and I am currently majoring in Human Services to become a Social Worker…I want a master’s degree in the field. As of now I am taking a human services course that requires me to get a certain amount of hours (115 hours) actually working somewhere so I decided to use the place I work.

For a while now I have been losing my passion and motivation to actually work at this place. But a conversation between my supervisor and I topped the cake. Never am I disrespectful to anyone nor do I bother anyone. I try my best and do what I can.

Days prior to this situation I had been talking to some residents…as seemingly nice and nurturing the home is, none of the residents are truly happy. I’ve heard things like,”We do the same damn thing every day” or “I have no more family, no home…what now, I’m not happy here” and even from the people I work with “These people don’t give a damn about us, I’ve been working here over 20 years and I still have no say in what goes on, no one listens to you or cares”. You know what? Its true.

I remember volunteering for FREE to help this woman with an event because my supervisor suggested it and I was looking to do something new. The woman had an event coming where the residents had to perform a song with bells and children singing in the background, in front of the higher up staff (Ceo, vice president, etc). I went to help her and it turned out that she didn’t need help. I was literally standing there doing nothing. She wanted me to help the residents every time something was wrong with their bell. When something was wrong with their bell, either she would tell them and if she told me to go help them, they would look at me like…”Do you think I’m dumb or is it you?” So I brought this to my supervisor’s attention and she told me well she does need help which was true. BUT she didn’t need MY help, she needed a different type of help. The woman was just stressed and flustered about the event so the next day I was suppose to help her I just called in sick.

Another thing that I noticed which made me never want to work here again is that all of the people of different ethnicity  work where you can not see them. You know who see’s them all the time? The residents. They don’t work where they’re in the front of the building where people come to visit or where the people who are not employed there come the most, unless its a janitor cleaning up around the building. You know where I see most of the black people? In the basement on the ground floor, either cleaning or cooking. I’ve yet to see a black man/woman, Asian, Latino in a business suit in this building or wearing a white doctors coat. Everyone who works higher up or where the visitors come are WHITE.

Aside from this and my perspective: My supervisor and I have to meet up every so often to sign papers and discuss how I am doing and what I am doing for my courses hour logs. In the past I really enjoyed the strictly “work” relationship I have had with my supervisor. She seems to keep it on that level and I really did respect and enjoy her for that. She is a very busy woman and sometimes seems uptight. So throughout the time I have been there I hardly ever meet up with her and when I do its always a rush.

This past Monday I met with her to sign some papers and overview my goals working there. So I showed her my papers and discussed my goals. Now I had set my goals to things I felt I needed to work on and things that I actually do and KNOW. She looked at my goals and said,”These goals are too simplistic, your focusing too much on the work and not enough on what this building is about.” Now I was not offended by what she said at first but the comments after that offended me to high heavens. I’m not the neatest or the fastest writer mind you, so I had to write it out in front of her the suggestions she gave me. When giving me the suggestions she said I need to look at the bigger picture and know the departments, what everyone does and how things are processed. Then as she told me these things she would stop and say,”Do you know what that means” or “Do you know how to spell that?” (I misspelled ONE word once last year, now she thinks I’m a dumb ass). Then when she finished telling me all these things and assigning me to learn them…as she was signing my paper she said,”I doubt your professor will accept this but I’ll sign it”. Even though this may sound like its a simple situation, it was really her tone and her expressions that gave off that “I’m intentionally being rude because I am your supervisor and you need me for your grades” feel. Then she rushed me off.

After meeting with her, I felt like crap, horrible and embarrassed  I’ve never done or said anything disrespectful to her. I’ve been nothing but polite or at least tried.

I have come to her and told her that one of the staff employees were rude and lazy (which I think after her running her mouth got back around to him because he rolled his eyes at me once when he saw me). I’m not sure if this has anything to do with that but from now on I have decided that I will NO LONGER go out of my way to help out at my job. I will no longer do what I don’t have to do. If it is someone else’s job to do it then I’m not doing it, simple as that. I’m tired of being nice and helpful then getting slapped in the face. I don’t care if it effects my grade in class, if anything I will go to my school and tell them about my situation with my supervisor to protect other students who may choose to use their fieldwork toward that place. I don’t appreciate being under-appreciated and I won’t be. After May has come and gone for this semester. I am quitting and never coming back. In the future (when I’m not working there and gone from thought) I WILL be mentioning this companies name so that people are aware what type of place this truly is.

-Jazzie

College….Required to Take Irrelevant Courses and Waste Money

College student studying

College student studying

I love having my education and pursuing it to become a Social Worker. My education is very important to me…its my drive and hope to go further in the future, financially and mentally. But one thing that pisses me off is taking courses that are “required” of your degree that you really don’t need.

Why it pisses me off?  Well let me use my Biology course as an example. Two of my educational fears: taking a physical education class (I don’t like to be competitive, sports was never my thing…I will however workout) and taking any type of  science course. The reason why I fear taking science courses is because I don’t grasp it easily. I have to study my butt off, which I don’t have time for or I have to have a really GREAT professor to teach me and it just so happens that I have not only the worst professor but seemingly the dumbest.

*Small Rant But A Point To It*

Now for the professor that I have the class is scheduled at 10am. This jerk arrives to class 15 minutes early then begins class by taking attendance. When I arrive its about 9:58am because I have other classes that I am taking. So when I get there the attendance is already taken and I’ve been marked absent. Thats VERY fair. Then when class begins and he starts to lecture, he presents by slideshows so he goes over a slideshow and stays stuck the same slideshow for about 20 minutes and that includes him talking about some story that connects with his life that has nothing to do with the human brain. Then at the end of the class he says, “Guys we’re behind we really have to speed it up I can’t slow it down for you guys”….really? After you waste our time with your life story every freaking slideshow?? Then he says for people like me that keep failing their test,”you should be studying 4 hours a day.” I am a full-time student taking 18 credits…I don’t even have time to eat!

Don’t even get me started on the syllabus. Usually professors put in their syllabus the schedule for the whole semester including tests…not this jerk, no he leaves tests out of it purposely so that he can switch the date anytime. Like he did a few times where he told the class as a whole the test would be the next day then when we come to class all studied up and ready, he says oh no its going to be next week….just for the simple fact that he promised ONE student after class that he would extend it….seriously? Now don’t get me wrong, he’s a smart guy but his teaching tactic is moronic and dumb. He knows the material so well that he assumes everyone else does and teaches like you already know it.

I swear if I EVER get another professor like him I am going straight to the dean and showing my ass! I am wasting $1k on this course just to feel humiliated and dumb and the course isn’t even over yet I have already signed up to take it online next year.

But anyway, why it pisses me of is because its REQUIRED to take this course. Biology has NOTHING to do with Social Work…nothing at all. Social work is SOCIAL, interacting, helping, planning…why am I paying to waste my time???? So basically, I am being “required” to waste my time on things that don’t even have a ounce to do with my degree, its just “required”….that irritates me to the core and demotivates me to even attempt to pass the course.

I am suppose to graduate next year under the 2+2 program so hopefully it will be different going into my bachelors degree.

-Jazzie