When you workout don’t be lazy. Go in hard and hard. Do the best that you can do but at your comfort. Remember, its your body and only you can change it. While those others are doing whats fine with them, do whats fine and good for you. Don’t be afraid to take that step.
So I have not updated on my hair journey since Dec. 16. Lets start with what I have been going through since then…
The first couple of days after taking my box braids out I was experiencing some dryness and rough hair from product build up. It turns out it wasn’t me it was the actual product that I was using as a moisturizer. I had been using softsheen carson roots of nature feathered curl whip cream to moisturize my hair and over time I began to notice how my hair looked and felt very dry the next day but when I spritzed it with water it felt dry. So I took it to the internet and try to find out what was going then I read some reviews on carsons products. Turns out I’m not the only ne having this experience in fact, a lot of women who use the product said over time their hair just doesn’t like the product anymore or the product causes build up…which is exactly what I’m going through. So I have the deep conditioner, 2 bottles of whipped cream curl, the shampoo and 2 bottles of moisturizer…none of them work on my hair properly. So as my moisturizer I had to switch back to using my conditioner “Jason Super Shine Apricot Conditioner” which is an organic product. Its the only conditioner that moisturizers my hair good and right now I’m completely out of it so I’m going to have to run to the store to get some more. This time I will get a different fragrance because the Apricot, no offense/don’t judge me, smells like breath.
So now my regimen is:
- Spritzing my hair with water mixed with rosemary oil…A lot of women have told me that I should hold back on the rosemary oil but it works great on my hair, in fact it actually makes it easier to detangle my hair. Something abut rosemary oil penetrates my scalp like a hot shower opens up the pores.
- After spritzing my hair I moisturize my hair with Jason Super Shine Apricot Conditioner then I put a shower cap n for 30 min to an hour to make sure the conditioner penetrates my hair.
- After the time has passed I take off the shower cap and seal my hair with olive oil/rosemary mix. Olive oil works good on my hair…better than any other oil I have tried.
With this regimen I dyed my hair. I was sooo scared but I just went for it. I didn’t do any research except googling if you should wash your hair before dying which is a huge NO and if you do, wait one day after you have done so
The dye I used was Texture & Tones with the hair color 3rv Plum. Let me just say I failed. I had no clue how to put the color on my hair and I was scared to leave it on because I know dying your hair could cause dryness and breakage so I took it off after 20 minutes even though your suppose to wait 30 minutes if you are natural. So heres the result and as you can see theres not much of a difference. The color only shows when I’m in the light outside, it was dark out yesterday when I took these photos so I could not use natural light.
So the question for me is, Am I still natural even if I dyed my hair?
My answer: Fuck yeah am I!
I wear half wigs, I dyed my hair and I’m still natural, problem?
Last but not least here is my growth since now the big chop! So proud of myself.
If you know that feeling of one minute you know someone then the next they are a complete stranger…then you’ll understand what I’m talking about. Although it still does sting, I’m happy we are not together. He’s a nice “friend” and he’s very smart.. he is attractive…in a way to some people but what I found attractive about him was our connection. Being in a relationship with him is another story versus being friends with him.
He and I had broken up a little over a year ago. Then last month we had gotten back together….for about 3 days, then split. We had been talking as “friends for a few days and he seemed cool and was flirting with me, through text of course. Then we met up and talked…even though it was not my goal, we got back together that day. Why? Well…he was telling me things I wanted to hear. He said he had learned and had grown a lot. He told me he understood what went wrong in our relationship before and honestly he was just telling me things I already knew. Actually everything he said he had learned, I already knew and realized within a week of us breaking up. But I missed him so I took him back and as soon as he left my sight I automatically said to myself,”This is a bad idea.”
When we got back into a relationship it was like…being back to where we started a year ago. He didn’t take the time to text or call me..say hello, good morning, I love you, how you doing…I couldn’t get anything out of him and when I told him..well tried to tell him how I felt he just called it off and said we were moving too fast.
I was angry but at the same time happy. Happy to know that I no longer have to be stressed in a relationship. Happy to know that it wasn’t a mistake that we aren’t together…we weren’t meant for each other and honestly, I never saw myself spending the rest of my life with him. I only saw myself loving him for the rest of my life and yes, I still do love him. But I still feel a lot of animosity about the way he treated me but that wound will heal its self.
Since I’m happy about us not being together I’m just going to say the things I learned or learned about while dating him since he is the only guy that I truly ever cared about:
- He introduced me to Youtube and how useful it is for answers.
- I learned to never tell your family something unflattering about your boyfriend or girlfriend because they wont forgive them as easily as you will.
- Love is not color.
- Never let the influence of someone else’s judgement cloud your judgement about your partner when you are the closest person to them.
- If you are not comfortable speaking in your relationship, then there should be no relationship. Communication is the key.
- Talk to your spouse and let them know you still love them and you care.
- If your heart tells you something then follow it so that you don’t regret your decision.
- When you’re truly ready to move on then you will move on.
- Never put something that can wait before something that is your priority and goal.
- Love is not forced, it comes to you. Never force yourself to like someone.
- Its okay to be vulnerable.
- Never date someone that makes you feel less of what you are.
- Insecurity and jealousy in a partner is a problem.
- Be yourself.
- Follow your instincts.
- Love yourself before you love someone else.
- Some things need to remain sacred between you and your partner.
- Never tell someone something that you don’t want your partner to hear.
- I do not desire a boyfriend..I want a husband, a life long compaion, not someone that holds that title of “boyfriend” that tends to come and go.
- If you are going to cook, clean, introduce and have sex with someone then you might as well be married.