I know I have not posted anything regarding black history on this blog and although it has crossed my mind…I still did not. So I decided to post something regarding black history for the last day of the month:
A few days ago, I just happened to watch the movie “The Help”. The movie was never appealing to me nor did I have any…motive to truly watch it but something just said,”Give it a chance and watch it.” I can truly say I am glad I did watch it. It reminded me that being a black woman has so many things to it. As a black people and “colored” people we had to earn our place in society. We had to beat the odds and the hatred and fight for our place. So much of that is taken for granted. I think the strongest message I got from that movie was..Things will never change unless someone bring upon that change or idea. Don’t be afraid to want something that is different from everyone else’s idea or ideal. You want change and at least try to make change in order for something to happen and sometimes all people need is a tiny push to motivate them to jump on board for something greater.
With that being said, I would like to say that my heart goes out to everyone/anyone who has taken a chance and stood out for a better cause and even has lost their life trying to fight for a better cause even if you weren’t the ideal person or race that should have fought for it.
It brings so much joy to me to be able to say I am proud to be a black woman. There were times when I wished or even said that I was not black. I’ve been called some racist and horrible names for speaking my opinion, telling the truth and just appearing as I am. I’ve been teased for having the skin color and hair that I have but I still smile. After going through what I’ve been through…even the racism faced from being in a interracial relationship from my exes family and the people who looked at us as if we didn’t belong. I truly can say that, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m happy to be black and I want to be someone who makes a difference but under my terms and no one else’s. So happy black history month everyone.
Two things that people have always said and/or mentioned toward me….things pertaining to my race or personality.
Friends/Strangers:“Are you really black??”…”The white girl is blacker than you!”..And most recently..”Your boyfriend must not be black.”
Family members:“She’s anti-social.” Or “She’s always quiet.”
Now surprisingly a lot of this stuff does not come from strangers, some of them have come from friends a lot have come from family members. I choose not to communicate with a lot of my family members because I do not trust them. No one can hold water and I want to be as far away from the drama as I can.
As for friends…outside the internet I have no made a friend since I graduated high school…why? I don’t know I guess its hard for me…its not easy to really find someone that understands me AND cares enough to hang around. If they do then they already have a life they are engaged…it’s fine with me though a lot of times I prefer to be alone…except for at night. I hate sleeping alone.
So back to the title…the reason why I mentioned all of this is because a while ago my dad said to me, “You remind me of Bella from Twilight.” At first I took that as insult but brushed it aside but then I started watching the movies and finding out more about her (minus reading the book)….I find out that I am a hell of a lot like her lol.
Things in common:
Socially awkward to people who want to know me unless they keep throwing themselves at me or I warm up to them. Willing to accept someone. I rather have invested my feelings and deep inner emotions within a relationship rather than vent to friends or family. My partner is the closest person to me and the person I love the most. Have a mom a that over reacts to things and wants to know everything and loves me. Have/had friends that wanted to be around me but I gradually pushed them away for relationship. Graduated. Smart. I have gone completely “crazy” when my boyfriend left me. Will choose love over lust…theres so much more I cn’t think of it right now but you get the drift.
I don’t have a boyfriend/husband.I don’t have a father that tries to understand me. I don’t have a bunch of people willing to accept me even though my decisions are rash and I don’t have two guys chasing after me at once. Never been bitten.
So from this…I am a huge Twilight fan, I think its awesome and yes I am the type of black girl with a body that you would usually see in the DAYUMM BIG BOOTY magazines…but I don’t have the snooty, whorish personality to match it. I am a Virgo though…lady in the street, freak in the bed 🙂